August 13, 2002
I don't claim to know how long Red Bull has been available, but I do know it has become pretty popular in the past few years, both as an energy drink and a vodka mixer. (My uses lean 100% toward the former.) Granted, I admit the first time I tasted Red Bull I did a spit-take and tossed the rest into the trash, but as of late I have developed a taste for it. (The fact that it supposedly helps to keep me awake at work doesn't hurt either.)
So I stopped at the drugged-up Texaco on my way to work to grab a can of Red Bull or two, and I notice an odd Red Bull can behind the first row. I push the first one aside to inspect the can closer. Lo! I've discovered a knock-off! Mind you, I've seen imitation brands before, but rarely have I come across one so blatant in its mimicry. I had to show it off.
Yes sir. These clever tricksters have absolutely cornered the "in a rush and don't take a close look at the can" market. At first glance, all I saw was a part of the dog's arm while other cans of Red Bull were in the way, so I thought maybe it was some kind of promotional can. Once I took it out from the cooler and got a good look at it, I had to laugh. What a cheap ploy! "Hey... let's stick this in with the real stuff. Maybe nobody will notice!"
I started running with the idea of this totally obvious knock-off, and it reminded me of what movie makers do when they can't get the licensing for a product to be used in their movie. It's like, "Hey Tom! I'm going to go grab a PIT bull energy drink. You want one?" Then the movie either goes on to become a huge hit and the drink manufacturer cries at the tie-in loss, or the movie becomes a flop and the drink manufacturer laughs at its good fortune. Either way, Pitbull fits the bill.
Then I got a closer look at the mascot, and caught a glimpse of something disturbing. As if to say "Our drink has balls" in a macho action hero voice, the dog features prominently displayed testicles.
Yeah, I knew I'd seen that before. So anyway, Balls and all, I decided to try it. Even with the obviously stolen can color scheme and imitation "mind and body" marketing nonsense on the can, it was something I had to do - even for the sake of saying "Yeah, I've tried that crap." Insert age-old "because it's there" adage.
It tasted exactly like a generic knock-off of Red Bull.
(09:27)
Search :: Previous Entry :: Next Entry