June 15, 2009
A few days ago I received an interesting e-mail. (Names have been changed.)
From: Jane Doe <jane.doe@big-company.com>
Sent: Tuesday, June 09, 2009 1:21 PM
To: Accipiter.org Press Department
Subject: article on new technology to help combat crashes
Hi,
I'm working on a story about new technology to help combat crashes and would
like to speak to an executive at accipiter about its technology and how it
prevents bird strikes. Is anyone available for an interview today?
-Jane
Jane Doe
Staff Writer, Producer
Huge News Outlet
Street Address
City, State
555-555-1212 (W)
555-555-1212 (C)
Now I've gotten plenty of odd e-mails in my day, but this one took a minute to digest. At first I thought it was poorly-worded spam, but upon closer inspection it appeared to be legitimate. The source IP addresses of the e-mail were, in fact, from the organization this reporter claimed to be from and the content of the message was a good bit vague, but still coherent.
That being the case, as Accipiter.org's President of Aerospace Sciences and Engineering Division, it was my duty to reply.
From: Christopher R. Curzio
To: Jane Doe <jane.doe@big-company.com>
Subject: Re: FW: article on new technology to help combat crashes
Jane,
I would be happy to answer any questions you might have. As you may or may not
know, The Accipiter Network and its affiliates are the industry leaders in
aeronautical observation and technology tracking, experienced in many fields in
aviation. I myself have piloted aircraft on many occasions, and our organization
has first-hand experience with historical bird strike activity. It is my
division's goal to facilitate an increase in this regard so that we may
successfully study its effects on aircraft and personnel.
I can certainly do my best to answer any questions you may have, and David
Brooks, my Chief Avian Behavioral and Navigation Scientist, is also avaiable to
assist should any questions necessitate his input.
We would be happy to assist you. What may we help you with?
--
Christopher R. Curzio
President, Aerospace Sciences and Engineering Division
Office: (678) 555-1212
I had two goals in mind here. First, I intended to be completely honest in everything that I said, with no effort to pretend I'm representing a different company or organization other than my own. As far as I know, I pretty much invented the industry of aeronautical observation and technology tracking (since it pretty much translates to watching airplanes and reading about tech, and they're typically two different things), so claiming to be the industry leader in an industry I've just now pioneered is a fact. I've also logged several hours at the controls of a Cessna 172 in an effort to get my private pilot certificate, and the bird strike experience I have is when that goddamned bird my family had bit me on my hand.
If any misunderstanding was to happen, it was due to the recipient not paying close enough attention. I mean really, I even included a bit in that reply about wanting to increase instances of bird strike activity to provide additional data for study. I was hoping that would tip her off that it was a joke.
No dice. Shortly afterward, I got a phone call to the number I provided. (My GrandCentral number, with a cleverly re-recorded greeting.)
Hi Chris, it's Jane with HugeNews. I'm calling about the article. I just got your message. I wanted to ask you just a little more about how the technology works, and uh, how far out it can detect birds. I saw from the NTSB testimony that you guys even have a newer version coming out that would be able to pinpoint uh, problematic flocks of birds from further out I guess, that would've been able to maybe help the US Airways flight, and so I wanted to ask you a little about that. I'm probably gonna take off about 7, but if you get this, gimme a call back and if not I would love to chat with you early tomorrow morning if you can.
Unreal. She was definitely legit, and she thought I was some company that made bird radars. After a bit of research based on snips of information from her voicemail, I discovered that there is, in fact, a company called "Accipiter Radar Technologies" that manufactures an avian radar system for airplanes. Aside from the fact that my site is named after a type of hawk (as is the tech company), I honestly have no clue how she could have possibly confused my website with one that manufactures aviation equipment. The thing is, for her to have e-mailed the address she sent the e-mail to, she would've had to have seen the press release I issued back in 2003 which is anything but serious AND is in no way related to flying or airplanes.
I briefly toyed with the idea of taking the joke even further, such as doing the interview whilst not-so-subtly hitting on her, or doing the interview with an undertone of having an obvious vendetta against birds, but I decided that being gag-quoted in a news piece wasn't worth potentially hurting her career. So in that vein I called her up and left a message, explaining that I was having a little fun with her and (reiterating what I thought was obvious) that I was NOT an avionics engineering company. I even went so far as to point her in the direction of the company that it appeared she was actually trying to contact.
I never heard from her again.
(18:28)
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